


Pidgey Perch

by OfTheNoseworthyClan



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfTheNoseworthyClan/pseuds/OfTheNoseworthyClan
Summary: In which Gold makes a complete fool of himself like the himbo he is
Kudos: 8





	Pidgey Perch

**Author's Note:**

> super tiny low effort fic time because i felt like it haha
    
    
    …
    
    "So whaddaya think? Nice lookin' joint, huh?"
    
    Gold motioned both his hands in the direction of the bar in question, while looking behind his shoulder to witness Silver and Crys' reactions. 
    
    …Silence.
    
    The sign read, "Pidgey Perch Pub". 
    The place appeared so forgettable that Silver first assumed Gold was pointing toward the neighbouring laundromat, until Crys bit the bullet and spoke up before him. 
    
    "…Pidgey Perch Pub?" she repeated doubtfully.
    "The one and only!" 
    
    …
    
    Yet another stifling silence occurred,
    throughout which Gold continued to shift his eyes between the two disbelieving faces of his friends. The same proud, shit-eating grin he had been wearing to announce the bar beginning to show subtle twitches of anxious impatience.
    
    Silver, 
    	this time, 
    	was the one to break the ice.
    
    "…This is the place you go to?"
    "Of course."
    (Gold answered within milliseconds.)
    
    "Frequently."
    "You know it."
    
    …
    
    "Here."
    "Indubitably, my dear Watson."
    
    "Sure, whatever, let's just head in already."
    "As you like, Sir and Madam," Gold gestured them toward the doors of the establishment, bowing his head like a butler. After many years, the two of them were used to his antics by now, but not to the point where they didn't feel tempted to roll their eyes at it. 
    
    
    Upon entering the bar, Gold waved down the bartender from across the room.
    "YO! HAROLD, OLD PAL!" 
    	The bartender was visibly confused.
    "Hey man~" Gold jumped up on a free barstool,
    		crossed his legs,
    		spun the stool around to face the table,
    		and stopped its movement by resting his elbow on the counter,
    		all in a swift, confident motion. 
    		"Yours Truly is back for yet another night on the town! And I brought some pals with me this time: That emo dude to the left is Silver, and next to him is Miss Priss herself, Crystal! Everybody shake hands, now!"
    
    
    Nobody was comfortable right now.
    
    
    "…Yeah, sure, okay. What can I get you?" The bartender played along, most likely out of fear that he may or may not be stabbed by this lunatic if he refused.
    
    "You two partners in crime go ahead first," Gold spun his chair around smoothly and thumbed two free spots behind him. The "partners in crime" reluctantly sat and ordered.
    
    "A dirty mojito, please — shaken." Crys went first.
    
    "A pale ale for me, thanks. Unovan Brewing if you have it, if not I'll take anything."
    
    The bartender turned to Gold,
    
    	whose eyes were fixated on a painting of a boat that hung on the other side of the bar.
    
    …
    This time, Gold was the one to create the awkward silence.
    
    "And for you, sir?" 
    The question pried Gold back into the limelight,
    	a place he would want to stay in at any other time but now.
    
    Gold, being watched not only by the eyes of the bartender, but both of his friends, shot back with a façade of confidence.
    "Oh sure~ Just the usual for me, man!"
    "…And that would be…?" — "Hah! Nice one, Pete! You know the one!"
    							"I'm sorry, but I really don't, sir."
    							"WHAT?! How could you possibly forget the Gold Specialty?!"
    
    …
    
    "And what would the Gold Specialty be…?"
    "Okay, fine, I'll tell you! The Umbrella Beer, remember now? Geez, you really are so forgetful sometimes, Pete." 
    
    Everyone at the counter was dumbfounded.
    
    "Sir? Please tell me what an Umbrella Beer is."
    	"Yeah, Gold? What the hell are you going on about?"
    		"This is probably the most confusing gag you've pulled in a while."
    
    "What? You guys don't know it? C'mon, the Umbrella Beer!"
    
    …
    
    "The rich… uh, white hue…!"
    
    …
    
    "The… lavish… licorice aftertaste?"
    
    …
    
    	"And it has that… like… 
    
    						…umbrella thingy?"
    
    
    
    
    
    …
    
    
    
    
    
    "Gold, you haven't actually drank before, have you?"
    


End file.
